Update

It's been a while since I have been on here. WOW life really can get busy and stressful. Well after the brother left we got quite a few phone calls for placements. We turned them down. The placements just werent a good fit for us. Greg and I decided that we needed to re-evaluate the ages we were considering taking. We then decided that older children would work best for our family. Not long after that we got a call for a 17yo girl.
We went and met her... and decided to take her.
She was suppose to be here for a short time before going home to dad. Well...... of course that plan changed. So she will be here for a while....

So how do we feel about that, you ask?

We aren't sure.... She is tough. Not tough in the yelling, screaming, being defiant kind of way but in the low functioning, needs lots of attention, is more like a 7 year old kind of way.
I don't have any experience dealing with a low functioning, may not be able to function well as an adult, kid. So we are going one day at a time......

JUST BREATH!!

Goodbyes

The boys were able to go and stay with a grandpa. It has been really quiet and relaxing around here. When I dropped them off there were tons of family there to see them and they were happy to see people they knew. I am glad that they are able to stay with their grandpa.

I hope all goes well with them and their family!

A Thin Thread

These poor boys are dealing with so much. You wouldn't know by just meeting them, that something is wrong, but their little hearts are broken. They miss their mom and dad and don't understand why they can't see them. Their emotional problems are coming out in the form of "accidents"..... Yep you got it, we are surrounded by Pee and Poo everywhere. From bed wetting to pooping their pants in front of me, we have it all! We are truly hanging on by a thread here at this house.

We are waiting to hear if their family placement is going to work out, and not to sound mean, but I am praying with all my heart it will. They really are cute boys and I know that they need my patience and love. So we will roll with the punches whatever they may be.

Yes Sir, Right Away Sir

So when I picked up C from school the other day this was our conversation.....

Me: How was School?
C: Good, but I need you to write your address on a paper.
Me: Why??
C: I need to give it to a friend at school so his mom can bring him over for a sleep over. (Of course at this point I am just going along with the coversation not intending to let these kids work out a sleepover. But I didn't want to upset him over something that will no longer be an issue come tuesday)
Me: Oh ok
C: Um, I did something Bad.
Me: Ok, what did you do?
C: I told my friend that you were my Butler. (HAHA, where does he come up with this stuff!) So, when he comes over you will need to act like my Butler.
Me: Ok......
C: I just wanted him to think that I was cool so you will need to act like my butler and say, yes sir... right away sir.....

This went on for a while..... Seriously, so funny. He really does say some of the funniest things.

These Crazy Days

There has been a lot going on around here in the last couple days so here is an update:

It has finally hit C that he is in foster care. We had quite the meltdown last night. He really did turn it around later and opened up that he was upset because he misses his mom and dad. Poor kid he is so confused. I wish I could do more to help him heal, and feel better but there is only so much I can do. I am not their mother and that is who they want.

The night the boys came my husband was out of town. It was funny becuase even after I told the boys where he was they kept asking if he was in Jail.... :) I guess that is all they know, sad.

It looks like the boys are going to be placed in a Kinship placement Tuesday or Wednesday. I think that will be good for them, I can tell that they really need their family. I am glad that someone is willing to step up and be there for them.

P is really a funny kid. He is happy and likes to play with his brothers. He really likes my husband and is on an hourly update till the time he gets home from work. Cute!

It looks like this placement will be short but it was fun to get to know them. I hope and pray that they will be taken care of!

Welcome Brothers!

We just went from a family of 3 to a family of 5!! We finally got the call tonight (and of course my husband is working out of town) a set of brothers ages 5 and 4. C is 5 almost 6 and asks questions about everything. P is 4 and is such a sweetheart. He loves the dog, cartoons, and books.

Things are going well so far, but the craziness has only just begun.

Remebering the Heartache

Right now, in my life, I feel happy. I feel content and I am amazed at the blessings I have been given. Sometimes it is hard to remember what I went through to get to this point, but there are moments where the pain and heartache of the past surface.

I remember what it felt like when my ex-husband told me he had an affair and walked out the door. I remember the hole that was left in my heart that night and the despair I felt.

I remember moving on and living on my own. I was hopeful for the future but I knew deep down I didn't believe I deserved to be happy.

I remember the years of disappointment and despair I felt at not be able to become pregnant. Month after month trying to pick myself up and continue on when all I wanted to do was crawl into a dark hole and never emerge.

THEN...........

I remember my wedding day to my wonderful husband!

I remember seeing those 2 lines, and knowing that my time was finally here!

I remember the birth of my son!

My life has been filled with heartache, but it was that heartache that made me the strong woman I am today. It made me realize how happy my life is now (and even in the tough times I remember how much worse it could be).

So, those nights when I feel down and can clearly remember the heartache are also the nights when I can clearly see my happiness as well.